Be Intentional

When it comes to your actions you want to be deliberate as often as you can. Trust me, he will definitely notice and appreciate you for this. No different from women, men like to know that there is meaning behind a woman’s actions. 

Tips

• Make suggestions based off what you know he likes.
• Ask him the “WHY” behind what drives him.
• If he likes to meditate set some special time aside to do it with him if that’s something he’s open to.

Be Kind

No one likes a nasty person, man or woman. While this may seem obvious to most, it’s amazing how many people seemingly missed the memo. It’s important to remember that regardless of where you are in a relationship, you are literally being interviewed for a long-term (wife) role in his life. No sane man (that you would actually want around yourself and or children in the future) is going to take a woman with a nasty attitude seriously.

Tips

• Always remember to smile
• Have a sense of humor
• Avoid criticizing others even when you know they’re wrong
• Avoid gossipy behavior (at least around him, save it for the girls!)

Be Vulnerable

There is nothing sexier than a woman who isn’t afraid to be open about her desires and weaknesses.  Please don’t confuse this with oversharing information that is best kept to yourself. Most men don’t want or need to know about the small details of your previous sex life, or how horribly you screwed up your credit during college. When I say be vulnerable I mean in the way you go about love, and expressing yourself to him. It’s okay to let him know how important a man’s role is in a woman’s life, not to mention children. Too many women these days confuse virtue with being this overly tough woman who begins every conversation with how she doesn’t need a man. 

Tips

• Research the biology of a man in order to better understand men in general.
• Find a good book or two on love that specifically focus on masculine and feminine qualities.
• Make a list of questions to ask your brother, guy friends or just post your question here!

Differentiate Yourself

Ladies, this is a very important one and I can’t stress it enough. Dare to be different! I’m not saying that you should become a weirdo and alienate yourself from the rest of the world. There’s a difference between different and crazy. What I’m saying is have something about you that will force him to remember and appreciate you. No one operates in a vacuum of course, so there will always be similarities among people in general, and this is okay. However, add a little sugar on top by adding a little uniqueness to your mix.

Tips

• Have a goal for the future that involves something cool like starting a business
• Take time to learn about sports such as baseball, basketball and football, among others. 
• Learn your city and all the best places to go for different occasions.  Your new male companion will be super impressed when you introduce him to an amazing new spot for watching the Super Bowl.   

Dress for Success

Keep his eyes peeled and interest peaked by showing him that you’re no stranger around your closet. This goes back to being intentional, everything you do should be done with a purpose. When he sees you he’s thinking about the different family and friends who you will eventually meet and how it will reflect on him. Show him you’re ready to slay all onlookers!

Tips

• Keep it simple, dress sexy enough to be noticed but not to the point of him questioning the quality of woman you are. I know it’s become popular to “not care” about what others think of you (God forbid a man). However, I urge you not to subscribe to this level of thinking. It won’t serve you well in the long-term (assuming the long-term matters to you).
• Be yourself but don’t be afraid to get a better understanding of what he likes to see on a woman. This doesn’t mean that you’re selling yourself out, not at all. If anything it’s a cheat sheet on how to get what you want. 

Flirt

Never should you be afraid to flirt, as this shows us men that you have a spark about yourself and this, ladies, is super sexy. Flirting doesn’t need to be over the top or tacky. Men enjoy a little flirty conversation here and there. Let him know that you think those jeans look good on him, or that you like his biceps (accompanied by giving them a little squeeze).

Tips

• Pay him compliments about little things, especially pertaining to his style of dress or body
• Don’t overdo it. A good rule of thumb is to pay him a compliment once every times you notice something you like. Overdoing it can come across as inauthentic and thus wont be appreciated the same.
• Be genuine with your compliments. Just as long as you don’t pay a compliment to something you truly don’t find appealing you should be good. There’s no way to replicate authenticity, so no need to tell you how its done, just BE IT. 

Have A Positive Attitude

No man wants a negative Nancy, no matter how gorgeous you are. You want to represent a safe space for him where he can come to for support and to recharge when needed. If you don’t represent a refuge for him then there’s no way a long-term ride is something he will commit to.

Tips

• Listen more than you speak if he comes to you for help or with a concern.
• Avoid venting all of your problems to him. While a good man will be there in support of you, it’s your job to present your problems in a respectful, non-intrusive manner. Just put it out there and leave the cards on the table and trust me, the right man will pick them up accordingly. You won’t need to force him to care or act, he just will.

Have Your Own Life

There’s something very attractive about a woman who has taken the time out to go after something she enjoys. Whether that’s cross-fit, blogging or long-distance running, it shows a certain level of maturity and independence that let’s a man know that you’re not the overly clingy type. More examples of having your own life are;

Tips

• Running a small business
• Gardening
• Volunteer work
• Blogging/Vlogging
• Arts & Crafts

Have Your Own Opinion

This doesn’t mean that you should be overly opinionated to the point of not being able to have a productive conversation with your partner. When it comes to having your own opinion it’s not about overtalking the other person, but rather providing context to a discussion. For example, if you’re having a conversation about climate change, it’s always better to know that you’ve spent at least 10 minutes researching the topic to have a basic understanding of it. This is a very appealing quality for sure.

Tips

• Research commonly discussed things to in order to know what’s happening in the world.  This will help to better formulate your own opinion instead of coming across as someone who simply goes with the flow due to a lack of information or understanding. 
• Avoid criticizing the opinion of others.   

Know How Awesome You Are

Knowing your worth is incredibly important in a relationship. When you know your worth you are more confident and sure about things, and this will manifest itself in different ways within your relationship. If you don’t see yourself as truly awesome before getting into a relationship, you are going to rely on your partner to fill that gap for you. This is not only unfair to your partner but will drive you insane. This is because there is no way he will be able to keep up with your insecurities, especially if you’re feeling a certain way more often than not. 

Tips

• Quote daily affirmations
• Practice staying present at all times. A really good book that has personally changed my life is; The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. 
• Remember, he chose you for a reason regardless of how hard your mind may be trying to prove otherwise.

Pay Attention

Be sure that you are attentive and paying attention to the small details as it pertains to your special someone. When making a purchase for his birthday, or other occasions, this is where paying close attention to who he is and what he’s about will pay off. 

Tips

• Most men care more about the gesture than the cost of the gift (not an excuse to buy super cheap gifts!). 
• Surprise him with small gifts such as a new pair of sweats for the gym.

Respect His Space

Every man needs his space, no different from you ladies. While we love spending time with you all, we definitely need time to reset and recharge with just us and four walls (occasionally out with the guys). Show your man that you are confident enough to give him his space and he will be forever grateful to you.

Tips

• Have your own things to do and DO THEM
• Ask questions to best understand his workload and hobbies so that you have a general outline to work with according to his schedule and availability. This way you can also know how to plan what you have going on according to his situation. 

Show Interest In His Interests

I am in no way suggesting that you have to fully invest your time and energy into what he likes. However, I am suggesting that you at least understand what it is he is into so that you one; have some sort of idea what he’s doing with his time and, two; be able to engage him mentally on that level, giving him yet another person to express his passion to.

Tips

• YouTube University. No matter what he’s into you will most likely be able to find a ton of easily consumable information on good ole YouTube. There’s really no excuse to not have at least some basic working knowledge of whatever his hobby might be. 
• Be open to participating if it comes to that. Sometimes we just have to take one for the team. Who knows, maybe you’ll like whatever it is that he’s into and get into it yourself. 

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